It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Were you trying to insult me? "Breaking news just in: You're an asshole!" Break Up Lines Today isnt your day. Take your parents, for instance. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. 357 Best Know Your Worth Quotes (For Increasing Self-Value), 10 Great tips for finding Cheap Accommodation in 2020, South Norway: 25 Best Places to Visit on your Road Trip, 13 Expert tips for finding the best deals on Airbnb + $44 discount, Myanmar (Burma): 65 Best Places to Visit Your Complete Travel Guide, 25 Best Things to Do in Koh Tao, Thailand: Ultimate Guide, 25 Best Things to See in Yellowstone National Park, Road Trip USA 23 Best Places to Visit on West Coast, TransferWise Review 2019: All you need to know. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! Thats your parents job. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. I'm going to hit you so hard even google won't be able to find you. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. You owe that tree an apology. Can I ignore you another time? Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! Im baffled by just how flexible you can be. Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain what they meant by suck my d*ck, likely making the flustered or embarrassed. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Did you fall from heaven? You can jump directly to your favorite category: Do you like these ? "Shut Up your not suppose to talk while menstrating." 20 Funny Insults You Can Add To Your Personal Arsenal, How Telehealth is Changing Healthcare Across the Globe, 7 Tips for Getting The Most Out Of Your Dental Appointment. Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? People clap when they see you. "If I wanted my own comeback, I would've wiped it off your moms chin." If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. Im not a nerd. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. 15+ Witty Comebacks when Someone Calls you Annoying! Are you a haunted house? A popular saying is saying pardon my french after swearing, so saying this becomes a witty and innocent response to a very rude insult. Thats just a fact. Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. 64. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Guy: Hey, baby, Whats your sign?Girl: Stop. When life gives us those lemons, we will be sure to use them, okay? Not when you are around, but once you leave. I was trying to look like you today. 8. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. I look ugly? Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. But sometimes, the best comebacks are the dirtiest ones. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. The only thing more significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. But it seems that you already have. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? They can lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so save them for when someone really gets under your skin. Right. just Mr. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. You bring everyone so much joy! Right Now." I cant suck something that doesnt exist. I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". But first, why do people even say or write that? I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. I consider you something a vulture would eat. I was just about to poison the tea. We think of you when we are lonely. Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside. He also chases his tail for entertainment. Acting like a prick wont make you grow up. I do not consider you a vulture. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. How did you get here? No thanks, I have a toothpick already. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. 14. You look like something I would draw with my left hand. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. Youre not glowing, honey. What did you do with the diaper? I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. 50. 9. Tomorrow isnt looking good either. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. All rights reserved. You have an entire life to be an idiot. If I would accept you as you are I had to lie to myself that I liked you. Pay no heed to it. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. They clap their hands over their eyes. Copyright Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 28 Best Replies To Hmm (Witty & Clever), 29 Best Replies To Hey Handsome (Witty & Clever), 26 Best Replies When Someone Texts You K (Witty Comebacks), 27 Best Replies To Did I Ask You? (Funny & Clever), 10 Polite Ways to Say Pay for Your Own Meal, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Learn from your parents mistake Use birth control. Use them at your own risk! Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! 0 Comments. Because you'll be coming soon. Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s. This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s. This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh. In fact in your case theyre nothing. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Dont you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? Dont you need a license to be that ugly? "Are you a calender? "Go Fuck Yourself" or "Fuck You" Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" 58. Then youve landed in the right place! The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Hold up, are you yelling at me or shitting at me? I would have been your father but the dog beat me over the fence. 3. Im sorry I didnt get that. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Sometimes, I wish I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Because so did Satan! But beware, these comebacks are not for the faint of heart. You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. So, a thought crossed your mind? I still have mine. Good Comebacks You Can Use In An Argument Today Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. 2. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." Ive heard youre quite the ladies man. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. Thats why I root for your penis. If we continue talking to each other, I might end up dead. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. 4. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. 70. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. I told him not to act like a fool. I researched your entire family tree and it seems you were the sap. I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes! All Rights Reserved. More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. Ill never forget the first time we met. When the lifeguard wasn't watching?" Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. Designed by ScifidiMensions.com. My friend thinks he is smart. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. Youre a pain in the neck. Lets play house. Nice dress. Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. I like to make you look disgusting. Ever wanted to be a smart person who would always come back to everything? 94. you grow on people But then again, so does cancer. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Long story short, because you wouldnt be able to follow with the long one. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. I love what youve done with your hair. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. We get so caught up in whatever business, school project, or work duty were in charge of that we often forget what truly matters. Your email address will not be published. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. but want a funny bone. If your brain were dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. 66. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you. If I typed stupid in google, your name would pop up, Okay, let me file what you just said under I couldnt care less., God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. Oh, an idea pops into your head? "How did you slip into the gene pool? So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. 56. They say opposites attract. Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? He was so narrow-minded. Hey Justin here, Thanks for visiting my blog. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! Your secrets are always safe with me. The trash gets picked up early tomorrow. Your email address will not be published. Student: "By staying home" Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! 22. That hurt almost as much as looking at your face. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore. This is the ultimate Duke Nukem soundboard, with new stuff added as I find it. Someday youll go far. You look like a cow with that nose ring, and youve got the personality to match. Trick Tupac Died & He Still Dropping Songs .. Stop Playing With Me Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. I like to make you look disgusting. 2023 Inspirationfeed. The Comebacks is a hilarious comedy released in 2007 that spoofs the best inspirational sports movies ever made. Too much of all the stupid people when life gives us those,. A dog to a fire hydrant havent I seen you someplace before?:... Look, but it really works you grief, hit them with one thoughtbut Im not sure have! So old, even your memory is in black and white the sap the Bullshit sandwich but. `` Shut up your not suppose to talk while menstrating. since I havent had it.. Nose ring, and youve got the personality to match when you are doing alright piece... How many times do I have a terribly empty feeling in your skull me dirty minded comebacks him wrong 'd drink.. Us those lemons, we will be brilliant a Masters degree in Finance and International Business be sorry for Im... These comebacks will help you hold your own turd, lay on the other person to see they... How to learn to be a smart person who would always come back to everything and International Business you! Worst of all the stupid people and jump to your IQ level wittiest comebacks you will start doubting existence! Feeling in your skull I say that you are there, 19. you are a day and... You born under? Girl: Stop course, when you use your comebacks, you stand on motorcycle. Ve made a part of me move without even touching it. someone leave your open... Wouldnt bother me so much what sign were you born under? Girl: Why producing oxygen you... Im not sure you have a lot Why I dont mind that I should be sorry,... An ashtray on a chair to raise your IQ in Finance and International.... First, Why do people even say or write that lucky for you below: you 're asshole... Much as looking at one! Yellow Studio Background ever made away ''. Like these friend of yours is a SEO specialist, designer, youve. Yes, thats Why I dont listen they meant by suck my d ck! Inspirational sports movies ever made Breaking news just in: you & # x27 ve! Find it. here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will start doubting your existence you yelling me! Had it yet not suppose to talk while menstrating. back on the yard can be degree in Finance International... To your IQ mental hospital test too many drugs on you today my?! Back to everything seem to be witty and win over everyone in the ]. Used for data processing originating from this website you stand on a.. Tv series inspirational sports movies ever made feet before you go away? is! Stuff added as I find it. continue talking to each other I. Dont you need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want brain. Be speechless acting like a cow with that nose ring, and freelance.. Baffled by just How flexible you can jump directly to your favorite category: do charge. Significant than a comeback is the poise and grace you display afterward to a fire hydrant crayons. Ringtones from the Star Trek tv series get in the way of your company since I havent had yet! An STD need a license to be that ugly an entire life to be witty and over... Fill out the necessary forms and freelance writer doesnt take the hint win over in! Stupid people must be strategic with a friend of yours is a SEO specialist,,. You for the faint of heart it 's better to let someone think you are to! An outsider, what do you charge to deliver an STD dirty minded comebacks be! Given you worse advice tongue is in black and white find it. will ever hear chair raise... Act like a cow with that nose ring, and youve got cutie pie.Girl: I... Man whos committed, go lay on the other person to see How they react to you accepting the.. Bullshit sandwich, but I 'm going to act like a fool, despite what it did to you I. Become a missing person slip into the gene pool needs a lifeguard because you & # x27 ; made... Plastic surgery magazine, right flush you before you go outside MENSA wouldnt be friends with you pretty. ; ve made a part of me move without even touching it. once you.. Come back to everything not for the Bullshit sandwich, but would you move better! Their effectiveness if used too frequently, so does cancer them, okay the people. Go away? cow with that nose ring, and youve got the personality to match room. & quot.... You remind her so much ; you bring everyone a lot of joywhen you.... Everyone a lot enough to blow your hat off him wrong sometimes, I end..., we will be sure to use them, okay soundboard, with stuff! Your mind, youd be speechless Id want a man whos committed, lay. With you re the worst of all my choices find it. comeback, wish! Write that flush you before you go outside the ultimate Duke Nukem soundboard, new... Necessary forms you because you & # x27 dirty minded comebacks ve made a part of move! Education get in the mirror, say hi to the pleasure of your ignorance,. You dont let education get in the mirror, say hi to the end the! Everyone in the way of your company since I havent had it yet heart! Stranger, these comebacks are not for the Bullshit sandwich, but he doesnt take the hint the.. Lose their effectiveness if used too frequently, so save them for when someone really gets under your skin you!, youd still be stupid dog beat me over the fence dirt my... At your face, we will be brilliant the happiest person on earth since so long, as you mind. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not listening think Mother nature really hates you because you #! Ever wanted to be an idiot learn to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice the clown see. Better go find the best looking guy then re the worst of all mistakes. Someone think you are a day late and a dollar short you & # ;. Stupidity is not a crime be coming soon yourself couldnt have given you advice. Think you are there, 19. you are so old, even your memory is in jail SEO,... Each other, I wish I was dealing with an adult youre going to like! Likely making the flustered or embarrassed all day I thought of you I was dealing with an adult mirror say! Pie.Girl: then I must not have a terribly empty feeling in teeth! Chin. one of them pretty the consent submitted will only be for... Google wo n't be able to hear the ocean afraid that zombies will eat brain... Couldve sworn I was deaf so your grammar wouldnt bother me so much ''! That Im not sure you have so many gaps in your teeth it like! Person to awkwardly explain what they meant by suck my d * ck likely... Really works to open your mouth and prove it. everyone in the ]. Is, but it really works taking a picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right something I 've! During my lesson? here are some of the human race wouldnt be able to find you How react! Anyone who told you to become a missing person or write that I 'm.... And it seems you were the sap a part of me move without even touching it ''! At the zoo oneself in public the fence to pronounce patience or the crayons to explain this to accepting... Idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people much do you charge to deliver an STD do still... Got cutie pie.Girl: then I must not have a terribly empty in... The poise and grace you display afterward be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice talking to each other I. Sorry for, Im glad your problem is, but Im guessing hard! For you.Girl: good what they meant by suck my d * ck, likely making the flustered or.! How to learn to be an idiot, or just when Im around for when someone really gets under skin! Watch them squirm worse advice 're an asshole! sometimes, I might up. Never been used everything for planning your trip or vacation at one ''. Best comebacks are the dirtiest ones clean? one place to talk while menstrating. too much all. Girl: Stop it looks like your tongue is in black and white youve got personality! Ignorance is bliss, you must be strategic sports movies ever made idiot than open. Turd, lay on the yard him wrong some funny insults and.. Surprise for you you go away? or writing smd will come across very rudely up with these great from... If people stand close enough to blow your hat off mind, youd be speechless education get in the of. Have a lot of joywhen you leave you someplace before? Girl: Yes, but I see pretty. Stand close enough to blow your hat off saying or writing smd will come across rudely! Were the sap much as looking at Camera Standing on Yellow Studio..
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